if I were cold-hearted...

For my own harsh, personal reasons, I should feel a bit vindicated (thanks, Mother Nature?) upon hearing that parts of Winfield, Missouri are being washed away.

But I am a firm believer in karma, and the town and the people that still reside there did not do any harm to me...it's the persons that are not there anymore, but here in North Carolina now, that have personally offended me.

If I were cold-hearted, I'd rejoice in such natural destruction - so it's a good thing I'm a much better person than that...

My thoughts are with those undergoing such horrific conditions in that area - hoping they are safe...and to those that hurt me...well, just remember karma and that the pain we cause others is always returned threefold...

a crazy night of tv

ok, I just *have* to make comments on some of the things I watched on tv tonight...

The Bachelorette - I don't normally watch the show, but there was nothing else on...Graham Bunn from Raleigh NC...well, what a mistake! on his part, that is...I understand men that shut down when things are tough and internalize issues - I'm a girl and I do the same thing, but come on - you're on a show where the whole point is to open up and show this other person how much you care! You're competing for her affection, for goodness sake! ok, so you're sexy and athletic and charming in a Southern sort of fashion. And there's nothing wrong with "quiet" men...in fact, there's something even sexier about them, mysterious almost...but he sort of disappointed me, being from Raleigh and all...I definitely thought he'd a least open up a little...even just a bit, if he was at all interested...he has potential - I know I find him attractive, not just physically - he just played his cards wrong...at least on the show! I've read the blogs that said he was just in it to further a modeling/acting career - and that may be, I don't know...but why crush someone emotionally to do that? I don't get it - it frustrates me - now you know why I don't watch the show!!!!

Wipeout! what more needs to be said? I watched the preview clips and about had a fit giggling at the antics of these clueless folks competing on the show! it's like an American version of MXC - and I love that show...not sure why, but I laugh and laugh! Maybe it makes me feel better knowing there are such odd people out there...I'm definitely a fan so far - I hope the show doesn't disappoint tomorrow night...I'll be watching, ready to giggle and laugh and snort out loud! Yes, I'm a strange one - but I'd rather live happy and fun than boring and gray...

Ah well, reality tv - love it or hate it, it is what it is...ironic to see what entertains us nowadays - what has our society has become? I really don't want to know the answer...I'll stick with my Mel Brooks and History of the World: Part 1 (which is what I'm watching as I type this)!

my new buddy...

Is this not the coolest looking cat??!?!?! Blackish with speckled stripes...I think it's adopted me...weird since I'm not a cat-person...and all it wants to do is curl up in my lap and fall asleep...I'm torn - part of me wants to take her (I think it's a "her") home and part of me knows I really don't need a pet...what to do, what to do?

4th of July

Well, I've been conned into going to Anderson, SC for the week of 4th of July...ok, so I really wasn't *conned* - more like I lost a bet...

I will be lounging around a lake (I can't remember which one) for a week - what ever will I do with myself???? Marshall and I will be heading down to actually have a vacation together - vacation, that word seems familiar, like I should know what it is...and he might even drag me kicking and screaming to the Clemson campus...maybe...

so this will be the first real vacation I've had in years - and I get to jetski too! Never done that before - I know, I'm 32 and have experienced that - well, I've never gone deep-sea fishing either and I hope to do that one day soon too! So relaxing and jetskiing on a lake for a week! Yay me!

Just have to remember to pack the sunscreen!

Vitamin D, man...

ok, so this morning on Good Morning America, there was an article on the fact that kids nowadays are deficient in Vitamin D.

Hmmm...let's see...considering that Vitamin D is the "sunshine vitamin" and in this day and age of tvs, computers and video games, kids are prone to stay out of the sun and sit all day inside! And of course most parents are either too busy to notice or prefer to keep them occupied inside so they don't have to go outside either!

But it doesn't stop there - infants and toddlers are also showing high Vitamin D deficiencies...hmmm...that would mean that the mothers are probably low to begin with...well, since most women of "mother" age are my age, and my generation was right smack in the middle of when the whole computer/videogame era began, I'd have to say it's a pretty obvious trend!

Of course they said that more people are wearing sunscreen and that would also contribute, but really? I don't know how much sun you need to not become lacking, but I can't imagine it requires hours upon hours of baking in the sun - maybe a few minutes here and there throughout the day would be enough...maybe?

I'm not a genius, but common sense would tell you that indoors + tv/computers/video games = Vitamin D deficiency...indoors + tv/computers/video games + fatty foods + no exercise = youth obesity, among other health issues...hmmm - coincidence? I think not!

let's try something new...

something new to bake that is...

if you hadn't guessed by now, I like to bake...and I do a lot of it for my friend, Amy, and her Italian Deli (see the link over to the left)...yes, she owes me - I'd say her first-born, but I know all of her children and while I am quite fond of them, she can definitely keep them!

so tonight I tried my hand at Egg Custard Pie - I think I've made it or something similar before, but I can't remember for sure...I think they came out ok - they look cooked and not like scrambled eggs (you have to mix scalded milk with beaten eggs - if you're not careful, you'll inadverdently make scrambled eggs).

we'll see how the customer likes it - I think it'll be fine...I haven't made anything gross so far!

all I wanted was some bread!

Marshall and I went tonight to watch Kung Fu Panda at the IMAX theater downtown - which was a pretty decent little movie. Afterwards, we wandered around Moore Square to find a place to eat.

Being a Friday night, most places were fairly crowded. We ended up at Vic's Ristorante Italiano, sitting outside at a sidewalk table.

We weren't incredibly hungry so we decided on the Antipasto Italiano (for two), but I wanted bread on the side. The server informed us that they were out of bread. I thought it was strange, but didn't question. He also wanted to know if we wanted anything else - that they were busy and he had to place the entire order at once. I asked if that meant dessert too, but he said no, just the entree part of the meal. This wasn't a huge deal, unless we changed out minds, since we were only planning on the antipasto. So we get our food, and it's not too bad - not great, but good enough. And as we get about halfway through the platter, I noticed that other servers were bringing bread to their customers at other tables - not even by request. What the hell?!?!?! I thought they were out! I was even willing to pay extra for the bread, if necessary!!! But by that time we were past the point of needing any bread - and we figured we would try the tiramisu. So we waited and waited and waited...we had to ask the busboy that cleaned our plates from the table to find our server - and of course we couldn't tell him his name because we weren't given one. I did notice all of the other servers were much more attentive to their tables and even spouted out the specials, etc. Hmmm...maybe our server just sucked...

So we finally were able to order our dessert and we waited and waited and waited - finally it was brought out - melting (yes melting - beats me...I've never had tiramisu melt on me) - it turns out it seems to be made with some type of whipped cream concoction...it was melty on the outside, but still cool in the middle - must have been frozen and needed to thaw? That would explain why it took so long to be brought to our table and the temperature variation.

Needless to say, the server was quite quick at handling the bill - imagine that. You know, is it too much to ask for bread at an Italian restaurant??? I guess so...all I can say is that their pizza better be outstanding - because between the food and service we received, I wouldn't go back. And I had heard such positive things about this place.

I just don't know....

I think I have a problem - with relationships...

yes, I'm "exposing" myself and my inner thoughts!

just to jump to the chase, I'm divorced (well, almost)....and I promised myself that I would only be married once - dumb and childish, maybe, but I'm stubborn like that. So, one and only marriage up - but I never said I wouldn't date or be in a relationship, or even go as far as to live with someone (maybe).

I'm currently in a relationship, but I realized something the other day - I live for stress...and when I'm stressed, the first thing I sacrifice is my relationship. I've discovered that I want a relationship on my terms - when I want the "closeness," I want it right then, but when I don't, I want to pretty much be left alone. Selfish? Most definitely, but I spent 7 years never being me or having what I truly wanted. Prior to that, I always prided myself in being the "perfect" girlfriend. I would lose myself to appeal to my significant other. And to be quite honest, I enjoy being independent and alone *some* of the time.

I can appreciate the guy I'm seeing now - though all of this is hugely unfair to him - since he realizes that I am flaky when it comes to the relationship. We agreed to take it one day at a time because I just don't know what I want or what I can handle. I can hear the girls now sighing and saying "oh, you have a sweet guy - don't screw it up and lose him." Well, I can't guarantee that - I told him from the beginning that I didn't know what I wanted and that I choose to take things slow. But I don't ever go slow, in anything! So we speed up and then slow down, back and forth, and he still sticks around. Maybe he's just a glutton for punishment? I don't know - I have no complaints - we'll just have to see how things progress. The good news is that even if we aren't in a relationship, we agree that we should always remain friends. We just get along too well...

I know, I know...it's one of those - "it's not you, it's me" issues, but it really is...I'm just that stubborn and that independent and just so unready for anything. I want to make a name for myself in my career and with all of the things that have happened to me in the past year, that is my focus - what keeps me going every day. Am I a workaholic? Yes - but it's one of those people that enjoy it - always wanting a goal, a challenge, willing to work the crap out of themselves to advance. That's me and I don't mind...

and now I feel better, having vented a little!

30 Days

When I first heard about Morgan Spurlock and his movie "Super-size Me" I thought this guy was just a publicity hound and the whole movie was a joke, riding on the coattails of Michael Moore. But then I watched it - it was actually pretty interesting, though I didn't find it too scientific and realistic in the aspect that most people don't eat McDonald's for every meal. Overall though, it did pose some very serious questions about food quality, quantity, and obesity in the United States.

I must admit I am hooked on his series, 30 Days. It's mind-opening and refreshing to see what people in our communities experience. From living on minimum wage, to living with conflicting religious beliefs, to living as a coal miner. It's like Wife-Swap, but on a more serious social note. It's as much educational as it is entertainment. It basically creates an interface to expand people's views on issues that impact us socially and economically - basically "taking the blinders off."

Mind you, one should be willing to learn about a conflicting or unfamiliar lifestyle, and hopefully by the end of the episode willing to accept that while we are all different in our beliefs and may have opposing opinions, we are all still human and deserve understanding and respect. These shows expose common misconceptions we are all guilty of and give us the opportunity to reassess our views on the topics presented.

Open minds and open hearts compel us to be good neighbors - making for a more friendly society for us all to reside in...